Archive for the ‘Brainerd’ Category

Mrs. Meyers, Goof-Off and 2,500 pounds of love

January 5, 2010

So we made it back from that barren wasteland. Just kidding, Brainerd – You know I love you. In the Summer. With the lights off.

As soon as I got home I checked to make sure the water pipes hadn’t burst AND THEN I shined up the new press. Oh, I also made sure the cat was alive. You never know, she has a tendency to fall into vats of oil and get her tail chopped off.

That’s what the press looks like – and I always play that song when I gaze upon it.

Advertisements

-33° in Brainerd

January 2, 2010

That’s where I am. Will I ever be able to get back to Minneapolis? Stay tuned.

And, just because I’m a little obsessed with the weather, I gathered some very important figures. – Record low temperatures in The United States of America:

State Temp. Date Station Elevation
Alabama -27 Jan. 30, 1966 New Market 760
Alaska -80 Jan. 23, 1971 Prospect Creek 1,100
Arizona -40 Jan.  7, 1971 Hawley Lake 8,180
Arkansas -29 Feb. 13, 1905 Pond 1,250
California -45 Jan. 20, 1937 Boca 5,532
Colorado -61 Feb.  1, 1985 Maybell 5,920
Connecticut -32 Feb. 16, 1943 Falls Village 585
Delaware -17 Jan. 17, 1893 Millsboro 20
Florida – 2 Feb. 13, 1899 Tallahassee 193
Georgia -17 Jan. 27, 1940 Mauna Kea 13,770
Idaho -60 Jan. 18, 1943 Island Park Dam 6,285
Illinois -36 Jan.  5, 1999 Congerville 722
Indiana -36 Jan. 19, 1994 New Whiteland 785
Iowa -47 Feb.  3, 1996* Elkader 770
Kansas -40 Feb. 13, 1905 Lebanon 1,812
Kentucky -37 Jan. 19, 1994 Shelbyville 730
Louisiana -16 Feb. 13, 1899 Minden 194
Maine -48 Jan. 19, 1925 Van Buren 458
Maryland -40 Jan. 13, 1912 Oakland 2,461
Massachusetts -35 Jan. 12, 1981 Chester 640
Michigan -51 Feb.  9, 1934 Vanderbilt 785
Minnesota -60 Feb.  2, 1996 Tower 1,430
Mississippi -19 Jan. 30, 1966 Corinth 420
Missouri -40 Feb. 13, 1905 Warsaw 700
Montana -70 Jan. 20, 1954 Rogers Pass 5,470
Nebraska -47 Feb. 12, 1899 Camp Clarke 3,700
Nevada -50 Jan.  8, 1937 San Jacinto 5,200
New Hampshire -47 Jan. 29, 1934 Mt. Washington 6,288
New Jersey -34 Jan.  5, 1904 River Vale 70
New Mexico -50 Feb.  1, 1951 Gavilan 7,350
New York -52 Feb. 18, 1979* Old Forge 1,720
North Carolina -34 Jan. 21, 1985 Mt. Mitchell 6,525
North Dakota -60 Feb. 15, 1936 Parshall 1,929
Ohio -39 Feb. 10, 1899 Milligan 800
Oklahoma -27 Jan. 18, 1930 Watts 958
Oregon -54 Feb. 10, 1933* Seneca 4,700
Pennsylvania -42 Jan.  5, 1904 Smethport est. 1,500
Rhode Island -25 Feb.  5, 1996 Greene 425
South Carolina -19 Jan. 21, 1985 Caesars Head 3,100
South Dakota -58 Feb. 17, 1936 McIntosh 2,277
Tennessee -32 Dec. 30, 1917 Mountain City 2,471
Texas -23 Feb.  8, 1933* Seminole 3,275
Utah -69 Feb.  1, 1985 Peter’s Sink 8,092
Vermont -50 Dec. 30, 1933 Bloomfield 915
Virginia -30 Jan. 22, 1985 Mountain Lake 3,870
Washington -48 Dec. 30, 1968 Mazama 2,120
West Virginia -37 Dec. 30, 1917 Lewisburg 2,200
Wisconsin -55 Feb.4,   1996 Couderay 1,300
Wyoming -66 Feb.  9, 1933 Riverside 6,650

AND before we start killing and eating each other, we are entertaining ourselves by throwing boiling water into the cold air.

0°, Hydraulics and a Hair Dryer

January 1, 2010

Why is it that the one time I leave my house something awesome happens?? Jack drove the Heidelberg Windmill down from Wahpeton, North Dakota this morning. Drove it right down to our fancy studio.

I’m in Brainerd not running around the house in my underwear and Jen is back at ZP headquarters. Who knew (Jack the mover knew) that the press was going to be delivered TODAY? Apparently, the hydraulic part of the pallet jack (not Jack the mover) didn’t love the 0°. I guess it was frozen and I’m no expert but that seems like a setback. Jen called me wondering where she could find a hair dryer. I don’t know why she wanted to style her hair but I’m not going to judge. Apparently, Jen’s beautiful hair did the trick because the new press is safe and sound in the SW corner of the shop.

Waist-deep snow

January 4, 2009

Day Two.   Snow fell through the night and drifted into the passage. The women and children are weaker today. Kenneth is ailing and must be dragged on a make-shift sledge. Robert appears to be delusional and only can speak of thick-cut bacon and death metal. The dogs are starting to look delicious, especially the fluffy one. We are, most certainly, in a predicament.

Edmund in deep snow

•••••

Um, here’s a new card – inspired by the men, women, and children that ventured West .

Donner Camp

The Donner (Birthday) Party

I’ll tell you what

December 31, 2008

Uh. December is, like, over. I don’t even care. Good riddance you ungrateful pig. You think you’re so great with your Christmas and your Hanukkah and your Britney Spears’ birthday. I’ve had it. I think we all have. Even with all of these Feast Days I managed to squeeze in our long-awaited catalog creation. And don’t think I forgot about my 25-birthday-cards. Self-imposed deadlines are the only way to get anything done. You know what else works? Pretending someone is going to kill you if you don’t get something done. SO, I scrounged up some images and wrote some lines. Yeah, yeah – I’ve not set the type or done layouts or pulled any proofs – mere formalities. And anyway, my shop elves will do it while I’m ringing in the New Year in lovely Brainerd, Minnesota. Here are a few images/lines – they’ll be 15% funnier after I’ve had my way with them. And another thing: they’re not all birthday cards. I’m not some sort of one-trick pony.

Boys playing marbles

You make this, you live.

Good luck.

 

Man with a christmas tree

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shhhh. Nobody’ll even notice us.

 

Very old man

Eh? What’s that? Whose birthday? Who are you? Get out of my room.
cutting_plie_26906_lg1 
   Happy Birthday, you tool.
Man writing
…and in conclusion – quit calling me a pussy.
Sincerely,
Pevenshire Wiffynuts
_algebra_lg
x=get me the f*ck out of here.
Baby banging spoon
Congratulations.
I said, CONGRATULATIONS!
Boy with hoop
If you’re old enough to remember this game
you are probably sitting in your own urine.


Man with microscope
Thanks for coming to my birthday party, my tiny friends.
••••••••••••
Alright, that’ll do. I’ll post more after the elves work it out. Oh, and if you see a woman running around Brainerd in giant underpants and Sorel Boots it’s not me. Happy New Year!!!