Archive for the ‘New Cards’ Category

Overdue Cat, a new letterpress greeting card and a little bit about the weather

August 12, 2010

Well, Susie hasn’t had her kittens yet – and like every other overdue/expecting mother – she is watching Oprah and eating tubs of Ben & Jerry’s.

Meanwhile, I biked through the Heat™

to bring Fred a card so he could photograph it. It isn’t any ordinary card – it is the card to introduce our new website.

Aren’t you intrigued?? It must say something sweet – just look at that cute little bellhop! I’ve been waiting to use him for a long time – thank’s cute little bellhop!

Airplane Safety Card

July 26, 2010
The trip to the Cape always begins with studying the airplane safety card.
When we land alive, I kiss the filthy airport carpeting and raise my fists in the air in triumph.
The drive from Boston to the Cape included a pit-stop for newborn-sized burritos and an impromptu visit to a little stationery store in Hingham called social graces – adorable! This just proves my theory that Hingham has newborn-sized burritos and little stationery stores.
The Cape is paradise, as usual – except for the E. coli outbreak – that’s Electronic coli. We had to boil our water – it reminded me of Mexico – without the drug mules. And everything else.
To be continued…

Tater Tots, Kings Wine Bar, Letterpress, Deer John,

June 13, 2010

Let’s talk about my first apartment kitchen: a room the size of an airplane galley* with the bonus feature of a countertop hinged to the wall. If that countertop was not in the lift and stow position (just like an airplane tray-table) it wasn’t possible to open the refrigerator or the oven.This was great incentive (for my roommate) to do the dishes.

I preferred moving the dirty dishes to the living room.

*I’ve peeked in an airplane galley – it’s usually hidden behind a curtain (that matches the drapes) – the flight attendant works mechanically, loading up that cumbersome cart to roll down the aisle.

The delicacies that came out of that first apartment kitchen included (and were limited to) chicken pot-pies and tater tots. The crisper drawer in my refrigerator contained a large amount of an herb – but that was none of my business. Oh, but the tater tots! Straight from the freezer and onto my cast-iron skillet: washed down with an Old Milwaukee and a Camel Lights cigarette.

Whew! Did I mention I had 18 by the balls?

ALSO, if I had a hankering for ribs OR pizza I only had to walk down the stairs. That’s right, the one and only Ribizza fulfilled that strange combination requirement for Uptown, Minneapolis.

°°

Exactly five minutes West of my house is Kings Wine Bar – a newish (rhymes with Jewish) little neighborhood restaurant. They serve tater tots but with sauces far fancier than ketchup.  I was there last night and there didn’t seem to be any Old Milwaukee or Camel cigarettes on the menu but somehow, after we ate our tater tots, our table was magically covered with candy.

This doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the card I wrote/designed last night. Or does it?

As we descend into the bowels of that beast called Winter

February 2, 2010

It is February 1.

If anyone is left please contact me. I have locked myself in the furnace room and my rations are dwindling. I am eating Panko Japanese Style Breading with a dirty popsicle stick and telling myself it’s Lik-A-Stix. Mmmmm, Lik-A-Stix…

Somehow, I was able to make this card:

The strong would survive the winter. The weak would, of course, be eaten.

December 24, 2009

The Long Winter is the true tale of a Minnesota family surviving one of the most brutal Winters in our recorded history. Trapped in the house – day after day after day – the blizzard makes it impossible to see out the window or even walk out to the barn without getting lost. Good ol’ Pa rigs up a rope to follow, he is always coming up with some creative solution! Ma follows that rope because Pa finds himself trapped in a ditch by the creek. The wood pile dwindles to nothing and the family is forced to twist hay into little bundles – they would burn these in the cast-iron stove to heat their little house. … Tough, brown bread is the only food left to eat.

Or is it?

What if that was on the jacket flap? I’d totally read that book.

18 New Cards for 2010

November 11, 2009

Doesn’t that sound futuristic?

2010.

Anyway, you can come see them in person at the No-Coast Craft-o-Rama. It’s not until December but I know how my readers like to plan ahead:::

Yikes!clearing-calendaryou-don't-look-a-day-overHURRY! That birthday is just around the corner.That's "MR. Happy Birthday" to you.This is a birthday card, not a bill.Make it a double, it's your birthday.PSST-birthday-party-or-funeOMGUR4TDoes this sandwich make me look old?I-hope-she-likes-thoughts-tA-Christmas-stalkingI'll-celebrate-christmas.cothe-strong-would-survive-thGREAT-my-parents-just-got-hCONGRATULATIONS on that big thing you got or did or whatever.Thank-you-for-your-support

Will I win the Nobel Peace Prize?

October 15, 2009

Maybe.

Oh, who am I kidding? I can’t broker peace between nations. I’m no Dalai Lama. I’m no Barack Obama. I’m just kidding about that second one  –  I just wanted something to rhyme with Dalai Lama. Wait, what? Barack Obama really did win the Nobel Peace Prize? Oops. My bad.

It’s hard, toiling away, day after day – trying to make this crazy planet just a little bit cheerier. Ghandi knows how I feel. 

Do you know this man?

Alfred"Alfie" Nobel

What would Fran do?

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ANYWAY. I wrote some new cards. Perhaps, one day, they will bring peace to war-torn countries…

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Eh?

PSST, is this my birthday party or my funeral?

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Lovebirds.

Great. My parents just got home.

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Nice package.

I hope she likes thoughts that count.

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Amen.

 

I’ll celebrate Christmas however I damn well please.

I’ll celebrate Christmas however I damn well please.

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No!
            

The Christmas concert would be her chance for revenge.
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I just love you.
I’m Christmas Stalking you.
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On the good china!
The strong would survive the winter.
The weak would, of course, be eaten.
 
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Kids!
The gifts don’t count       themselves.
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34C    
Thank you for your support.
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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

October 5, 2009

Done.

Z is for Zeichen Press

Do not worry. IF you can’t get your sad self to the Room and Board nearest you, you can shop online!

 It’s true. But not yet. NOT YET. The ink isn’t even dry.

Did I mention that I will be the lunchmeat between the bread named Jackson Pollock and Andy Warhol? What a strange, virtual sandwich. Speaking of sandwiches: I decided to take a break from printing to do some printing and I made this:

Does it?

That’sss cool.

Chanukah and the Beach

August 6, 2009

Back on the Cape (Cod) again. I spent a restless night out in the barn. Maybe it was the vinyl covered futon OR my teenager’s shenanigans OR the twin mosquitos that took turns attacking me. I just don’t know – I just don’t know why my uncomfortable evening produced this:

CHANUKAH!

(Inside: God bless you.)

Only 128 shopping days till Chanukah!!