First Base with Trader Joe’s

The Trader Joe’s card chick sent a fat check with a little note that said, “Dearest Zeichen Press, let’s get it on.” 

Isn’t that romantic?

Sighhh, I love this stage of a relationship. Both a little awkward, both excited – sniffing each other’s bottoms. Other things go unnoticed –  cleaning, bills, cooking, dad’s life-support machine. 

I used to raise my hand in class, working my face to communicate a message to my teacher. It was important to get into character – my character was The Girl That Needs To Use The Bathroom Super Bad. It was serious. Of course, I’d be excused and head to the library. The librarian was the tough but lovable hunchback, Sister Avila. She loved the Dewey Decimal System. Never a word from her mouth – just the stern pencil-tapping was enough to make me stuff a sock in it. Every day there was a crisp new StarTribune on the big table. I would feign interest in Global Matters but couldn’t wait to get the comics.

If Trader Joe’s likes this next round of cards I owe it all to skipping class, Sister Avila, and the comics of the late-1980’s. I claimed to despise the Family Circus, but dammit – I read it every day. I also followed Mark Trail – the Cary Grant of the comics. BUT I saved The Far Side for the very end – Gary Larson was the Pope of the Funnies. If he ever comes out of his pen-and-ink cave, I will kiss his ring.

Okay, here we go:

HURRY! That birthday is just around the corner.That's MR. Happy BirthdayYou don't look a day over three.I'm clearing my calendar for your birthday.Yikes! My youth just scurried by.


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7 Responses to “First Base with Trader Joe’s”

  1. Lucia Says:

    Pure genius as always. And very clever.

  2. Lucia Says:

    Wait genius means clever which means that I am neither. Oh, Fran…

  3. zeichenpress Says:

    Shut up, Lucia. You know you’re my idol.

  4. ampersand duck Says:

    I can’t believe I’ve met (virtually) another person, let alone a letterpress chick, who says ‘sniffing each other’s bottoms’. I always get told off when I use that phrase, but I still use it frequently, as the disgust is most of the fun.

  5. zeichenpress Says:

    Oooh, someday I will come to Australia and we can sniff each other’s bottoms! I can’t wait…

  6. ampersand duck Says:

    Or I will come to the US!
    I am trying to wangle a letterpress visiting tour, desperately. There is so much more happening over your way.

  7. MLP Says:

    The cards are so great I want to sniff THEIR bottoms!

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