May my suffering bring you joy

Only my fellow Minnesotans and residents of Chicken, Alaska can truly understand what it means to be cold. I am intrigued by deadly weather. Cold that can freeze a limb solid. Cold that flattens your car tires. Cold that makes your eyeballs feel funny.

I braved the extreme cold today.


-21° is COLD.

But a Mexican Omelette was whispering my name with such longing… It was whispering in a French dialect, so that was weird – but other than that it all seemed legit. I put on every bit of clothing I owned and headed outside. The car actually told me to F – Off. I reminded it that we were both in this together and that if it cooperated I would fill it up with Premium Gasoline. Foolish car, choosing gasoline over Mexican Omelette!

When I was safely inside of Hot Plate I laughed… Oh, how I laughed – and saluted the outdoors for being a worthy adversary.

Later that day (that SAME day) I went outside again. I actually ran to the studio. It took 1.5 seconds. Luckily my exposed body part (my bottom) was unharmed. See, I’m a bit of a daredevil and maybe most of you can’t understand what it means to throw caution to the wind. I can’t teach you. It’s either in your blood or not. IF your blood alcohol level is somewhere near 0.20% than you may also be able to throw caution to the wind. But that’s not natural and I don’t recommend it as a “lifestyle.”

Where was I? Oh, yes. I risked my limbs (and bottom) to run to the studio and lay out previously written cards. Three birthday cards. The metal type was awfully cold. I wanted to lick it but I exercised restraint.

In your own urineGet out of my room.

My tiny friends.


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